Buddhist Marketer

Time

I want to share with you a little trick regarding getting things done.

Oftentimes people will send me emails asking me questions or asking for my time. Right now I have 657 unread emails in my personal account, and 705 unread emails in my work account.

“705 unread emails!” you might think. “It’s a wonder you haven’t been fired!”

Au contraire, mon frere. The fact is in my 9 official years of full-time capitalizing, which came off the heels of 4 years of part-time go-goodering and a lifetime of entrepreneuring, I’ve been able to get a ton of shit done. It’s like my old boss / coach TT always said: “Work smarter. Not harder.”

Ain’t that the truth. Working harder means reading every single email and getting back to everyone super-promptly. The problem with this is that it assumes that everyone else’s time is more important than yours. And when you make that assumption, you basically guarantee that you will forever be in a job where you are the least important.

Now, this is one of the reasons I can get shit done: I don’t waste my time on shit that isn’t important. And nine times out of ten, I am in a better position to determine if something is important. Which means that the request via email isn’t important unless I say it is, and it means I’m not going to read your email unless:

• I need something from you, at which point, I read the three most recent emails from you, address your needs, and then follow-up by asking you to give me what I need
• The subject line is related to something that I’ve decided is important

This is how I’m able to get a ton of shit done. When you think about it (and yes, I have thought about it), all through school I was able to score in the 99th percentile on standardized tests that took my classmates an hour to finish. I was done in forty minutes, tops. I could read by age three and took calculus as a high school sophomore.

I get shit done.

I do it well.

I don’t read your emails.

So here’s the little trick I’ve learned regarding getting people like me to pay attention to you:

• Get them to need something from you. If they don’t need you, then you need them. That’s the power dynamic, and get used to it, and figure out how to work around it.
• If they do need something from you, when they ask for it, don’t give it to them until they give you what you need. Duh. “I’d be happy to provide that report, and I’ll get to it right away. Before I begin, however, I’d benefit from some context regarding the shit that I need from you, big lady.”
• But usually, they don’t need anything from you. So you need to respect the power dynamic and pay it its propers. Ask yourself: how much time do I need from this person? Sometimes you just need them to give you a POV on a document. Okay — how long will it take them to read the document? Will it be easier if you walk them through it? Based on that, you need to:
  • Push time onto their calendar to walk them through the document. If you are in the same office as them, put a hard copy of the document onto their chair so they can read on their commute. If not, and if you have time, send them a physical copy of the document. On a post-it, say, “I’ll get some time on your calendar to walk you through this.” Include your business card as well if they aren’t going to know who the f— you are.
    • This is also the golden key to the crapper checklist re: How To Get People Much Higher On The Food Chain To Know You Are Alive Even If You Are Not 5′10″ And Of Indeterminate Ethnic Origin
  • When you’re pushing time on their calendar, do it for WHEN THEY ARE AVAILABLE. Don’t be the asshole that’s going to try and think that your little document is more important than what they’ve already got planned. Remember: smart people are the most qualified to decide what’s most important and how they should allocate their time. Don’t be presumptuous.
  • If you can’t see their availability, don’t push a request for any less than two business days away. Even successful, accomplished people don’t want to feel like failures, and if you don’t give someone time to successfully deliver to you, then they will feel like they have failed, and this will invoke shame, and once you shame someone, you are up shit’s creek and they will marshal their resources towards seeing you eliminated, peon. In the meeting request, state, “I’d love to walk you through this document that I’ve attached as part of the meeting request / left on your desk / FedExed to you and solicit your guidance, but if this time is not good, please do feel free to suggest an alternative.” Now, see how respectful of this person’s time your request is? And see how you’ve couched it as them giving you guidance? This has recognized their power and makes them feel special. Most people want to be helpful. You just need to set them up for success to give out that advice and … get what you need.
  • Let’s say you don’t need to walk them through it. Well, they still need to block out time to read it. So send a meeting request titled: Read this document, or something like that, and let them know they should feel free to move the meeting request to a time that works best for them, and that you can be reached at << your phone number >> to discuss should any questions arise during the reading of it. And then ask that they ping you after they read to give your feedback. This respects the busy-ness of their schedules and ensures that you get what you need.
• Sometimes, you need to get feedback from someone on a regular basis. Determine how regular, and how much time you need, and get on their calendars.

If I need something from someone I never assume that an email or a phone call will do the trick. Sure, sometimes it does, and I get through to most people because most people like me (and I return the favor) and generally, I’m one of the more entertaining people in any one person’s life. Look, don’t hate, but let’s be honest: how many Jello wrestling dress-wearing shoulder-tossing Scrabulatin’ half breeds do you know? According to Facebook, I am more desired than 86% of people, so most people want to talk to me and will answer my call.

But let’s say that the person I need something from is currently talking to someone who is more desired than 97% of people, including me? I respect the reality of the power structure and block out time on their calendar.

And then, I figure out ways to make sure they need things from me, so that the power dynamic can shift in the other direction.

This is how I manage up the food chain, across the food chain, and down the food chain. This is how I get it done.

If you keep these things in mind, I guarantee that you will find yourself getting a ton more done — and I mean, meaningful impacts. Not just running the baseline or looking busy. Not working harder.

Working smarter.

People at Skechers are stupid too

I’m on a roll now, and you people have the feminine hygiene products I bought today at Walgreen’s to thank.

So, a few days ago I get an email from Affiliate Traction, the company that manages Skechers’ affiliate program. Apparently at Skechers.com, there’s some sale going on. Except, the email states that affiliates aren’t allowed to talk about said sale in any affiliate marketing material. Can’t say it in their PPC search arb campaigns. Can’t say it in their product aggregator sites. Mums the word.

Naturally I thought this was prime Affiliate Marketing Circa 1998, but I’m not active with my Affiliate Marketing Moxie just now, so I deleted the email and went on packing my luggage for Biz_Trip_Miami.com.

But I guess a few affiliate marketing managers were pizz-issed-off, because I just read a follow up email from Affiliate Traction:

We are aware of the concerns that have been raised as a result of the announcement made yesterday to Skechers’ Performics affiliates. We apologize for the confusion and would like to take this opportunity to clear up any misconceptions as well as explain a little bit about the existing situation.

We have been informed by Skechers that due to existing contractual stipulations between Skechers online and their offline retail distributors, certain sales, discounts and coupon codes must be limited in promotion. As such, no online resource or site may directly advertise this current sale. However, utilizing existing or custom creatives to promote approved specials is acceptable. We are always available to assist you in whatever way we can.

We are working very hard with Skechers to create something special for everyone affected by this unfortunate matter. We value our affiliates and the work that each and every one does to promote this program.

We hope to have further information for you soon.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us directly.

Now this is just some stupid-a$$ “We Don’t Know How To Optimize Our Distribution Channels And Thus Sign Contracts Without Considering Firm-Wide Ramifications” $hit. Guarantee you’ve got some general counsel bozo talking to some old guard “Everything I Know About Pushing Product I Learned In 1985 From Car Dealerships” general manager clown redlining the contract without doing some basic cross-channel optimization analysis to figure out how to best structure deals for each channel in order to maximize profit for the channels in aggregate.

The mediocrity! The horror!

The headache I have!

Damn you, Garmin!

I’m blowing the dust off my ANP for God campaign. You want an angry, punishing God, people? You’ve got it, for 3-5 days approximately every 25 days. DONE.