Buddhist Marketer

2010 Goals

I’ve spent the past several weeks working on 2010 marketing goals for one of my clients.  However, it didn’t occur to me to leverage the same goal definition and prioritization methodology on my personal goals until a couple of weeks ago.  So while I don’t have the time to expose my algorithm for how I came up with these, here’s my goals for next year — with quasi-confidential information obscured.

Yep, I’m moving in with my boyfriend, code named “Pablo” to protect the innocent.  I have never completely shared a space with a romantic partner in my entire life, and I suspect that this is going to be a unique and oftentimes stressful experiment (though not unwelcome) (okay, relationships are not experiments, but still).

And living with someone means I am going to have to rewire lots of practically hard-coded programs, such as

• dressing like a slob
• eating like a slob
• putting myself first 100% of the time

The mental calculus is different when optimizing for “us” as opposed to “me”; since I only recently learned how to optimize for me, it’s going to be interesting to see how I react to the whole cohabitation thing (and all that it entails).  Wish me luck — and let me know if you know of any reasonably priced one bedroom apartments within walking distance from the Empire State Building / PATH train / Amtrak / Stumptown coffee.

Of course, while the three big picture goals are going to, on the balance, consume my attentions for the year, by changing the timeframe and breaking things down on a quarterly basis, my goals look nominally different:

It is very important to me to not forget the fundamentals of meditation, yoga, and healthy flexitarian eating (and concomitant soul-soothing joy of making oneself a hearty meal), even in the hubbub of all my goings-on-about-universe.  Speaking of which, one of my unwritten goals for next year is to

Be Better

which necessarily means I must

Do Less

which means I must

• Stop raising my hand and/or volunteering for things
• Grow increasingly comfortable with non-achievement
• Value myself as a being-unto-herself

If I cannot accommodate this, then I will forever need to keep “tasks” such as “Go on dates with Pablo” on my to-do list.  And instead of naturally and automatically having down time to enjoy the company of myself and those I love, I will need to “program” this time in.  Sure, it’s great to demarcate boundary lines of “me” time — and even once I no longer overextend-n-overachieve I am sure I will keep this up — but the deeper, more fundamental challenge that I am journeying towards surmounting is no longer seeing myself and valuing myself for the things that I do, rather than, the human that I am.

So, do less.  Be better.  And until then, don’t forget to do something fun and interesting and new each week with the people that I love.

Changing the optimization timeframe once again, here’s my January goals:

I’ve got a secret project there at the bottom that, knock on wood, will be non-secret by quarter’s end.  And you can help out with my other goals, too:

• Know anyone who wants to rent a desk? I’ve got extra space in my office, conveniently located right across from the Ace Hotel / Breslin dining room / Stumptown coffee at 29th and Broadway (Bree - can I use an ‘&’ there?).  Great for someone starting a new venture.  Especially good for entrepreneurettes.
• Know anyone who wants to sublet a studio and/or find a pied-a-terre? I’ve got a freshly painted studio at 32nd and Fifth that I will definitely not be using during the middle of the week — one of my clients needs me on-site in another state.  Plus, “Pablo” and I are moving in together starting March 1st, and my lease does not end until 10/1.  You do the math :)

Feel free to spread the word and have interested peeps give me a buzz at (212) 532-2405.

So that’s the score on 2010.  I’m making my goals transparent because

• that’ll keep me honest
• perhaps it’s a good example (?)
• Joan Didion, notebooks, etc.

Happy New Year, all y’all.  And yo, yo —

2009, I’mma let you finish, but 2010 is gonna be the best year of all time!

2009’s Most Poopular Posts

Fifth place actually went to a post in which I skewered a former roommate for ruining my curtains, but since he reached out, I have since password-protected the post.  So the new fifth place goes to:

#5. Free Universal Healthcare. Doctor’s Orders.

my commie pinko friend Cameron on Fox Biz as he drops some knowledge regarding why we need universal healthcare at no cash cost.

#4. Fresh Air Fund Taps Bloggers To Spread The Word

let’s pretend that the campaign’s goals were to drive donations (which it isn’t, but I’m being generous): the donation page has no clear “call to action”. Give us a form, people! Create a stand-alone splash page! Too! Many! Places! To! Click!

#3. Collaborative GRE Analytical Writing Scoring

Perhaps, then, the way to approach matters of happiness prerequisites is:  “Only once one stops looking for it can one feel true happiness.”

#2. Marketing Is Still Marketing

So, a year ago, The People wanted Hot Sex On A Platter, and that’s what American Apparel served up.  But now, The Moody People consider that untoward.  A recent cartoon in The New Yorker captured this mood swing nicely: “I’m trying not to flaunt my employment, so I’m not carrying a briefcase these days.”  What do The People want today? They want to feel like the companies with whom they transact aren’t a bunch of greedy douchebaggy corporate welfare recipients.

#1. (Situational) condescension is a moral obligation

the language I speak is often at odds with the language spoken by the dominant status quo — and by definition, the middle chunk of the Bell curve is the dominant status quo. And the dominant language is one that makes others feel good about themselves, gently persuades them to agree that 1+1=2, and blows sunshine up their grade-inflated, “Hooray For Everything”, if-it-weren’t-for-Spanx-it-would-occupy-four-zip-codes backsides.

Oh dear.  What goodies shall 2010 bring?  Will people even read blogs any more?  Or all we all too busy crafting clever replies to our friends’ status updates?

In Other URLs

Other stuff by yours truly:

• Music, memory, and British chicks
• How to organize your AdWords keywords
• Pretty notebooks; Neruda’s “Childhood and Poetry”

Let us wish 2009 a gentle good bye.

9/8/2007

Scribbled on the back of an earlier draft of my work-in-progress “The Grey Dress” (which is based on my first day in Moscow):

From my new home, head south and you hit the East River in a few short blocks.  The promenade is surprisingly empty and commerce-free for such a stunning view on a beautiful night (79 says a red sign in Brooklyn). And most of the people enjoying the stroll are Asian - FOBby.  I imagine the ones fishing are Fukianese. I feel at home as I walk amongst them.

Across the river, I see Empire Ferry State Park, where I did my ritual cleansing.

It seems so small now.

* * * * *

What I don’t talk about, and maybe I should, is that my non-whiteness grants me access to some places.

I feel safe in projects, invisible where my white friends might otherwise stand out.

* * * * *

What a furious constellation of light and sound, this town.  Already I love Manhattan!

Those kids in Waking Life totally had it wrong.  You become a new person, like, as frequently as you allow yourself to.

Dear Santa Claus

I have worked very hard this year and despite the fact that I don’t grow as rapidly as I used to, would still like some new toys for my non-denominational Christmas celebration.  I have conducted extensive research and a thorough needs assessment in order to whittle my list down to three items:

1. Redken Real Control Conditioner.  Because cranky, difficult-to-manage ethnic girls with cranky, difficult-to-manage hair need intensely nourish and moisturize our high-maintenance hair.
2. Redken Extreme Anti-Snap leave-in treatment.  Because, as you know, a dark-haired girl who gets highlights will have difficulty growing out her hair if it keeps breaking off and stuff.
3. Redken Dandruff Control Leave-In Treatment.  This way, if my scalp feels itchy in a spot but I just got my hair did, I don’t need to ruin my ‘do by washing it with Pureology’s DandruffScalpCure for color-treated hair.

By the way, you may want to get your mitts onto Redken for Men’s mint rush hair and body wash to detoxify your skin after flying around in the air all night long …

Love,

Anittah’s hair

Help Me Rebrand Socialism?

I enjoyed a talk by Chris Hedges, Pulitzer prize-winning journalist and author of Empire of Illusion, yesterday evening.  During the Q&A, he explained Socrates’ concerns about the book (Socrates was worried about the written word’s negative impact on society versus the oral tradition):

Striving for a moral life is ambiguous.  It cannot be codified.  It becomes orthodoxy when these discussions are written down.

Yes.  Yes of the Stephen Carter “bumper sticker democracy is bad” variety.

His talk was so thought-provoking that I may have to noodle on a marketing campaign for socialism.

Why I Vote Democrat

From the Spring 2009 issue of Equality:

Newt Gingrich, former member of Congress, said in a TV interview, “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment.”

Let’s sign this boy up for Queer Eye.

Incoming

Took a moment to kick the tires of Google analytics just now; here are some amusing searches that have lead seekers to this blog:

• do buddhists sleep on the floor
• how would a buddhist fix health care
• how to solve social awkwardness
• little debbie donut sticks weight watcher points
• joe jaffe idiot
• oh you can’t get to heaven verses
• what does katherine newbegin shoot with?

Mmmm…  Little Debbie Donut Sticks ….

1. You do not have to sleep on the floor if you are Buddhist
2. But please take your shoes off at the door
3. And don’t point your feet at me

:)