This Is Just Wrong

As someone whose first job outta the gates was in Fairfield County, Connecticut — home of “Thanks for the credit card; we know you suffer from status quo bias and aren’t gonna cancel this membership, sucka!!!!” direct marketing genii — I can always get behind a contextual cross-sell / up-sell membership club offer.

  • Cross-sell / up-sell in line with original offer?
  • Credit card opaquely passed to third party on the backend?
  • Compelling benefits, err … benefits positioned compellingly?

Oh yeah.  Sign me up for some leather-bound classics, dawg!  I gots a library to outfit with books I’ll never read!

But the funky, amateur-hour, ham-fisted attempt at marketing below makes me want to clench my ba-donk-a-donk in abject marketing shame.  It’s crap like this that makes every Tom, Dick, and Harry think they know marketing.

Now, I know that women aren’t very good at math, but all the more reason to clarify your numbers.  $20?  $40?  $215?  $100?  What is this, a federal stimulus package?

Of course, you know that with train-wreck marketers driving the Frederick’s of Hollywood marketing engine, I’ll never unsubscribe from their list.  Who knows what glorious tragedies await me?  Kind of adds a nice sprinkle of humanity amongst all the spot-on marketing coming out of the Starwood hotel chain peeps.

Hooray for trashy lingerie peddlers!

[ Related:  The Liberation Of My Inner New York City Housewife ]

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