Buddhist Marketer

As Of Late

It has been building over the past few months, perhaps several.  I sense myself becoming increasingly radicalized as I premise-check and assumption-suss.  And I find myself growing ever more wary of capitalism’s productivity norms — “a system that asks me to give up my body/labor and otherizes me if i cannot” writes a queer hapa disability rights activist — and the reductive self-Therblig-izing that market norms perpetuate.

And I would totally write more on this, words equalling lux and whatnot, but I have to hit the ladies room.  ZOINKS!

2009’s Most Poopular Posts

Fifth place actually went to a post in which I skewered a former roommate for ruining my curtains, but since he reached out, I have since password-protected the post.  So the new fifth place goes to:

#5. Free Universal Healthcare. Doctor’s Orders.

my commie pinko friend Cameron on Fox Biz as he drops some knowledge regarding why we need universal healthcare at no cash cost.

#4. Fresh Air Fund Taps Bloggers To Spread The Word

let’s pretend that the campaign’s goals were to drive donations (which it isn’t, but I’m being generous): the donation page has no clear “call to action”. Give us a form, people! Create a stand-alone splash page! Too! Many! Places! To! Click!

#3. Collaborative GRE Analytical Writing Scoring

Perhaps, then, the way to approach matters of happiness prerequisites is:  “Only once one stops looking for it can one feel true happiness.”

#2. Marketing Is Still Marketing

So, a year ago, The People wanted Hot Sex On A Platter, and that’s what American Apparel served up.  But now, The Moody People consider that untoward.  A recent cartoon in The New Yorker captured this mood swing nicely: “I’m trying not to flaunt my employment, so I’m not carrying a briefcase these days.”  What do The People want today? They want to feel like the companies with whom they transact aren’t a bunch of greedy douchebaggy corporate welfare recipients.

#1. (Situational) condescension is a moral obligation

the language I speak is often at odds with the language spoken by the dominant status quo — and by definition, the middle chunk of the Bell curve is the dominant status quo. And the dominant language is one that makes others feel good about themselves, gently persuades them to agree that 1+1=2, and blows sunshine up their grade-inflated, “Hooray For Everything”, if-it-weren’t-for-Spanx-it-would-occupy-four-zip-codes backsides.

Oh dear.  What goodies shall 2010 bring?  Will people even read blogs any more?  Or all we all too busy crafting clever replies to our friends’ status updates?

Help Me Rebrand Socialism?

I enjoyed a talk by Chris Hedges, Pulitzer prize-winning journalist and author of Empire of Illusion, yesterday evening.  During the Q&A, he explained Socrates’ concerns about the book (Socrates was worried about the written word’s negative impact on society versus the oral tradition):

Striving for a moral life is ambiguous.  It cannot be codified.  It becomes orthodoxy when these discussions are written down.

Yes.  Yes of the Stephen Carter “bumper sticker democracy is bad” variety.

His talk was so thought-provoking that I may have to noodle on a marketing campaign for socialism.

Why I Vote Democrat

From the Spring 2009 issue of Equality:

Newt Gingrich, former member of Congress, said in a TV interview, “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment.”

Let’s sign this boy up for Queer Eye.

What’s In That Needle?

My brother-in-law shares his memories of an ‘88 protest in St. Louis regarding the accessibility of publicly-funded and/or subsidized transportation:

The collectible item of ADAPT apparel for this action was a red and white headband that said: ADAPT met APTA in St. Louis. It was spring 1988, one of our last actions targeting the gatherings of the American Public Transit Association.

This action sticks in my memory because of the comic overreaction of the police. A television news report announcing our coming said police were conducting bomb sweeps in the rooms of APTA’s hotel. We later learned that the police did this at APTA’s behest.

Every time an ADAPT vehicle left the hotel, even to go to the drug store, it was followed by police. As we lined up to begin our marches, police helicopters hovered above.

I remember I was one of those arrested for refusing to disperse from a corridor near where APTA types were meeting. The blind man next to me was told by police that if he was arrested his dog would be sent to the pound and he probably wouldn’t get it back. So, very reluctantly, he dispersed.

They transported all us arrestees to a police lockup and during the processing they did something I’ve never seen police do before or since. They took blood samples. When one guy refused to submit to that he was held down and blood was drawn forcibly. I was among the many others who refused after that. They told us to line up so they could force us all one-by-one later. But so many refused that the police gave up on the drawing blood idea. Our lawyers later filed a lawsuit.

They kept us overnight. We slept in a roomful of cots. They gave us Ziploc bags full of toiletries. The toothpaste tube was white with no label. The watery toothpaste dripped through the bristles of the brush. As I brushed my teeth I spit out bristles. The brush handle was practically bald when I finished. They fed us the standard issue bologna sandwiches — a single slice of bologna smashed between to slices of cottony white bread.

On Tuesday we hit the Greyhound station. Somehow we slipped through the police dragnet and blocked off the St. Louis bus station. After a standoff, an irate, liquored up, stranded passenger stormed out of the terminal. “I’m sick of this shit!’ he barked and he began yanking on wheelchairs. E.T., an African American guy from Denver, resisted by holding tight to his wheels. So the furious drunken guy wrapped his hands around E.T.’s throat and shook him. The police pounced, ripped the guy away and arrested him.

The next day, as we prepared to leave town, there was a newspaper picture of E.T. parked in front of a Greyhound bus and being strangled. And the police commander dropped by our hotel to shake our hands and wish us well. He congratulated and thanked us for conducting a well-organized, nonviolent protest.

Ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous.

But I’m grateful for folks like Mike and my sister, who raise their fists for “fringe-justice” — injustices that keep our brothers and sisters “on the fringe” from living lives scripted by someone else.  Because it’s the eradication of fringe-justices that help everyone – not just those on the fringe:

• Because curb cut-outs help strollers and gramma carts alike
• Because elevators in the subway help when I have rolling luggage
• Because walking behind a wheelchair during rush hour is like following a firetruck ;)
• etc. etc.

ADAPT’s current work helps make sure your ass doesn’t get thrown into an old lady home if you fumble your swan dive in the hotel pool:

ADAPT is a national grass-roots community that organizes disability rights activists to engage in nonviolent direct action, including civil disobedience, to assure the civil and human rights of people with disabilities to live in freedom.

There’s no place like home; and we mean real homes, not nursing homes. We are fighting so people with disabilities can live in the community with real supports instead of being locked away in nursing homes and other institutions.

Click here to learn more about ADAPT.  Consider giving a donation while you’re at it.

Elsewhere: Gubmint, Career Nirvana, Slothy Content

Killing time while waiting for the cops to show up so that I can fill out a police report.  So, here you go!

• How should governments use web 2.0?  Add your ideas!
• Are you happy to be doing what you do, professionally?
• Content creators:  is your content lazy?  Click here to fix!

Just called them AGAIN and they haven’t even dispatched anyone yet.  I mean skeeriously.

This Is My Brain On Tape

You didn’t think I was going to die before trying my hand at podcasting, did you?  Pshaw!

Names dropped:

• Laura Allen, Founder, 15SecondPitch.com
• Emily Bell, Co-Founder, Young Professionals for CARE - NYC
• Damon Bethel, EVP of Strategic Planning; Biz Dev, DBG
• Anthony Bourdain, Author, “Kitchen Confidential“
• Joanna Breen, EVP Production, Touchstorm
• Victor Frankl, Author, “Man’s Search for Meaning”
• Bill Harvey, SVP; General Manager of OpenTV Research
• Dave Jackson, SVP Advertising Sales, Grab Networks
• Joanne Lipman, Founding Editor, “Portfolio”
• Jack Mason, Social Media Strategist, IBM
• Mary Miller, Dean, Yale College
• Dan McKillen, President & CEO of HealthDay
• Sharon Melnick, SharonMelnick.com
• Mark Ranalli, President & CEO of Helium
• Todd Sokolove, BewareOfTheBlog.Blogspot.com
• Rachel Weiss, NYCBabylon.Blogspot.com
• Ralphie, Character, “A Christmas Story”

Elsewhere On The Interwebz

Here’s other blog posts by yours truly if you’re interested!

At DinnerGrrls.org:

• What entrepreneurs can learn from Shark Tank
• Easy tip for making today (yes!  now!) more meaningful
• Get rid of information overload — like, this very moment

At thinking/marketing:

• Five tips for growing your blog readership
• Lincoln Center’s checkout cart is awesome
• Should you pick an agency that’s specific to your industry?

Hope everyone is doing well.  The sky is so blue today!

Memo To Lesser Libertarians

This public health care “discussion” has raised my annoyance level with the lesser Libertarians that are on my radar.  This post is for them.

Now, look, you freedom-loving free marketeer.  I get you.  I understand you.  And you don’t fool me as well as the ruse of freedom seems to have fooled you.

But here’s the problem.  You like free markets in part because you think you’ll do well in them.  You’ve surveyed the population and you’re thinking, rationally, “I could beat these suckers.”  Good for you, kid.  Proud of you.  Now, winning in the free market isn’t going to rewind time and give you steady parental affection, now is it?  I mean, let’s be honest — you could start a few companies, run some half marathons, and otherwise contort yourself into an award-winning machine and you’re still unlikely to garner the kind of attention that you pine for from the people that brought you into this world.

(And I know that some of you might be thinking, “Dagnab, Anittah, this is just uncalled for, to put such personal information about me onto the interwebz.”  But rest assured, even though I bet you think this post is about you (don’t you?) — these are actually ridiculously consistent traits that the plurality of Libertarians that I personally know have in common.  So relax.  You.  Are not.  That special.)

But let’s go back to the “you kicking ass and taking names” notion that informs your motivation for wishing for a free market.

Look, I remember when you were a fat piece of shit.  Okay, maybe not an entire zip code rested itself into your pantalons.  But you’ve had your chubby phase.  And then, somehow — probably fueled by you trying to prove something to your parents and/or win their affections — you decided to get in shape.  You went on a strict eating regimen.  You started working out all the time.  You might have even entered an athletic competition for the first time in your life (pursuit of blue ribbons does not equal daddy’s love, in case you hadn’t yet figured it out, folks).

So you’re thinking, “Hey, if I can do it, everyone can!  And I don’t want to subsidize the fat pieces of shit who are too lazy and lack the self discipline that I was able to muster!”

Let’s explore this deeply mediocre point of view.

• What you call laziness may simply be a lack of self-hatred
• What you call self-discipline may simply be a desperate pursuit of external love
• What you have forgotten is that even in your new, sporty bod, I can still kick your ass

This last point is what particularly rankles me.  You say you love the free market?  Well, I know it’s because you think you’ll do well in it, and this is what I find laughable.  Even when you’re at the top of your game you’re still not as good as I am, let alone when you were unathletic Tubsy McTubserson!

So really, I should be annoyed at you other Libertarians who are bringing down the roster.  You are, on the whole, not as smart as I am.  You certainly aren’t nearly as athletic as I am (and your late-blooming competitions are just that — you missed out on the core of what it is to be a competitive athlete, and that is, to be a member of a team).  And you have the creativity of a potato.

So even if we were to compete in a free market, I’d STILL be able to garner an “idiot tax” out of your dumb ass without you even realizing it!

So what are we talking about?

Here’s what we’re talking about:  I’m no longer a Libertarian.  You selfish, “resources are scarce” bozos are teeming with the 80th percentile.  I can’t be bothered to associate myself any longer with people who

• assume that in the allocation of talent, everyone got fairly equal portions
• assume that their “discipline” and “lack of laziness” isn’t a function of neurosis
• refuse to realize that even on my worst day I can still beat them at their own atavistic game

You kids can fight amongst yourselves for the scraps of an adolescent ideology.  I’m done.

Health Insurance In New York State

From Janet Bodnar’s editor’s letter in the October issue of Kiplinger’s Personal Finance:

Even though the U.S. health-care system has been described as “terminally ill,” there really is quite a healthy market for insurance in most states (except in places such as New York and New Jersey, where wrongheaded legislation keeps insurance costs high).

Never mind that the illness of the system has nothing to do with the health of the market.  My beef has to do with her unsupported generality regarding insurance costs in New York state.  My comment on her article which may never be approved by their editors:

It’s unfortunate that space constraints prevented Ms. Bodnar from supporting her inflammatory claim that in New York “wrongheaded legislation keeps insurance costs high.” My experience as a small business owner has been that New York state’s progressive private-public partnership, Healthy New York, lets entrepreneurs like myself offer health insurance at a very reasonable cost. How reasonable? I’m paying less than $270 a month per individual to insure my team through Atlantis Health. Legislation may still be “wrongheaded” in some regards, but in terms of empowering small business owners to offer health insurance to their people, New York state has hit this one outta the park.

It makes me crabby when people posing as experts expose themselves as thoughtless agenda-pushers.  And yes, I’m talking to you, Ms. Bodnar.